It’s time for another installment of Don’t Be That Guy, the part of my blog that challenges readers to … not be that guy.
I’ve been wanting to humiliate write about this next group of people since I started this blog, and with the world going to hell in a hand basket as we speak, I can’t think of a better time.
This installment deals with a particularly annoying canker sore – The Freeloader, aka The Lazy Bum.
Who Is The Freeloader?
The Freeloader is the person who decides the moment a prepper talks to him or her about preparedness that said prepper has agreed to take care of him or her (and their family) in the event the shit hits the fan.
Every prepper has a story about dealing with a Freeloader. Ninety-nine percent of the time, the story ends with the Freeloader saying …
(All together now, my fellow preppers …)
“Well, if the you-know-what hits the fan, I’m comin’ over to your house!”
No you’re not, you lazy jackass.
I Don’t Want to Go Off on a Rant Here …
Comedian and pundit Dennis Miller sums up my feelings on The Freeloader quite well:
First off, as I’ve eloquently explained here and here, it’s your job to look after yourself and your family. Secondly, if an idiot like me was able to plan ahead and see something like this coming, you should have come to the same epiphany.
Thirdly, if the aforementioned shit hitting the fan involves a pandemic disease, you’re not coming within 100 meters of my front door. Period.
And last but certainly not least, I gave at the office.
In the Great Recession, I was forced by the government to bail out the banks (and pay their CEOs big fat bonuses for the great job they did), bail out General Motors and Chrysler, and bail out dimwitted homeowners who bought homes they knew they couldn’t afford.
Now we’re staring down the barrel of Bailout 2.0, where it looks like I’ll be bailing out the airlines and a bunch of other big businesses that have spent the past decade spending almost all of their revenues buying back their stocks so they could give their CEOs huge bonuses while worker wages stayed flat.
If you don’t want to be prepared, that’s your decision. It’s your ass. Don’t you dare come to me or any other prepper who tried to warn you and ask us to wipe it for you.
Besides, toilet paper is hard enough to come by right now as it is.